Unaddressed Insensitivity Will Doom MLB Mascots

Now that the NFL’s Washington Redskins, shamed by their many-decades’ racial insensitivity, are unveiling their new mascot, it is clear that Major League Baseball cannot avoid the virtuous mascot-toppling that will make our world a safer, kinder, gentler, more understanding place.

In addition to the Cleveland Indians, the Atlanta Braves, and the Texas Rangers, these teams must immediately consider mascot modification:

Giants: insensitive to midgets

Mets: insensitive to rural-dwellers

Brewers: insensitive to teetotalers

Twins: insensitive to single-child families

Nationals: insensitive to globalists

Astros: insensitive to agoraphobiacs

Royals: insensitive to commoners

Padres: insensitive to Protestants

Pirates: insensitive to law-abiders

A’s: insensitive to illiterates

Reds: insensitive to Whites, Blacks, and Browns

Yankees: insensitive to the Artist Formerly Known as Dixie Chicks.

The MLB cannot expect a fan base in our new enlightened world if they persist in their callous mascot insensitivities.


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